Dating Tips

How to cope when your lover’s not local: Surviving a long distance romance

conflict and emotional stress in young people couple relationship outdoors

Although it’s possible to restrict your search for love to your local area, sometimes we just can’t help but look a little further afield; perhaps you’ve exhausted every opportunity within a two-mile radius, or happened upon a profile with an extremely attractive picture – just sat there, on the main page… Whatever your reason for making contact with a match who’s further away than you’d perhaps hoped, these things usually happen for a reason. Besides, you can’t help who you fall in love with, and nor should you make any apologies for your choices.

What we can recommend are the following tidbits of advice we’ve sourced on the subject of long distance relationships. While you’ll understand your new partner far better than any dating advice site, it can help to view your fledgling relationship with an open mind – and a fresh set of perspectives. Long distance relationships can be incredibly rewarding, if only you give them a chance to thrive.

Look forward to every visit

If visiting your significant other has become a chore you have to complete, it may be time to sit down and calmly assess your relationship. Is he coming to visit because you can’t wait to spend time together, or because it’s been a few weeks and you’re starting to forget what he looks like? Spending time with your partner should be your opportunity to reconnect, and to remind one another why it is you spend so much on your phone bills each month. Be sure to make plans for those infrequent meet-ups, even if you only go for coffee, or snuggle up and watch a movie. Being able to envision your next liaison is likely to heighten your anticipation, and enjoyment, of the moment.

Communicate

It goes without saying that you’re going to need to talk often; since you won’t be seeing one another every day it’s incredibly important for you to keep that dialogue open, and to discuss the mundane aspects of your daily lives that each of you will be missing out on. However, we don’t just mean for you to talk occasionally. You must be able to communicate with your partner on a deeper level, and to understand one another inside out. Those in long distance relationships are often more adept at communicating – and doing so efficiently. After all, when words are all you have for long periods of time, you must make them count. Could you discuss almost anything with your partner, even when they’re not around? If so, you’re onto a winner.

Use technology to your advantage

Once upon a time the flame of many a long distance relationship was kept alive by the arrival of an envelope addressed in elegant handwriting. These days, however, we are privy to all kinds of technology that can help to keep romance new and exciting, including emails, instant messages, text messages, and even video chats. Indeed, it can often feel as though the other person is sat with us, even when there are many miles separating our physical beings. If you want your long distance relationship to succeed use the technology that’s available to you, designating moments when you’ll share a phone call, and times when you’ll video chat. It’s also not too late to consider the potential of a letter; love letters never go out of fashion.

Above all, ensure that you and your new partner are on the same page; are your expectations and desires for this new relationship the same? Do you both want the same things from each romantic interlude? Can you identify as a couple, even when you’re apart? It’s possible to create closeness despite distance, and it will become painfully obvious if one of you is embracing the situation more than other. Listen to your gut, and don’t ever be afraid to raise issues as they occur. We would like to wish you lots of love and luck in your new relationship.

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