If you’re heading into the jungle that is online dating for the first time, these quick and simple dos and don’ts might just set you off on the right foot…
Do… be yourself
The first rule of online dating is to be yourself as far as you possibly can be. It can be very tempting to hide behind a character, or embellish aspects of your personality. Who’s going to know, after all? However, if you’re trying online dating we’re betting you’re hoping to meet somebody and forge a lasting relationship – or at least the foundations of a meaningful connection. How can you expect to hold onto that match once your mask slips? It’s far better that potential partners get to know you – the real you – now, rather than finding out you’ve been telling porkies this whole time. Besides, pretending to be someone you’re not can be exhausting.
Don’t… play with someone else’s emotions
So, you’ve had a message from a potential match but decided relatively quickly that you’re not interested. It’s time to let that person down gently, regardless of whether you’re drowning in matches or not. Never, ever be tempted to lead someone on for the sake of your own ego. It’s cruel to keep that carrot dangling long after you’ve made your mind up, and we’re sure you wouldn’t appreciate being treated in such a manner.
Do… remember that patience is a virtue
We’ve all been there, but it’s a habit that’s really unhelpful. We’re talking, of course, about the expectation of an instant reply every time you send a message to a potential match. There’s an old saying that a watched pot never boils. If you’ve sent a message try and spend some time away the screen; it’ll prevent you from refreshing your inbox every thirty seconds in anticipation of a reply. The general rule of thumb is to allow three to four hours for a reply – at least. It’s also wise to take the timing of your message into consideration. If you’ve messaged mid morning, your recipient may not check their messages until after work. If it’s meant to be, they’ll reply, trust us.
Don’t… keep them waiting
Whether you’re trying to be mysterious or play down your desperation, or you’re genuinely terrible with admin, don’t keep a potential date waiting any more than 24 hours for a reply; it’s rude, and will probably see you left out in the cold – whether that was your intention or not. There’s an unwritten rule of online dating stating that it’s okay to ignore a message if you’re really not interested in engaging with the sender. However, what would happen if your tardiness resulted in the sender assuming you’d no interest in connecting? It’s a lost opportunity waiting to happen.
Do… get to know the other person before you meet up
This tip goes without saying. While you may be the spontaneous type, or have become convinced there’s a connection within the first few messages, it’s always wise to hang fire on that first meeting until you’ve a little more to talk about on your first date. Not only do unsolicited invitations tend to unnerve strangers, but you could also be landing yourself in a heap of hot water if you attempt to arrange a meeting with an unknown entity. Besides, arranging a date with someone you’re getting to know gradually is always far more fun; you’ll have a few questions ready to ask them, and some topics that are already weathered in.
Don’t… be a stranger
Just as you should never keep a potential match waiting for a reply, it’s also not wise to disappear off the face of the earth unannounced, or to wait days to respond to a face-to-face meeting. If you know you’re going to be unable to check messages for a designated period of time be sure to warn those you’re getting close to. Similarly, if you’ve been on a date send your partner your thanks, and let them know how you felt about it. Didn’t feel that spark? It’s time to let them down gently. Falling fast? It’s time to step things up a gear.
The Internet is filled with well-meaning advice regarding your online dating experiences; before diving in take your time to familiarise yourself with some of these unwritten rules and expectations. Not only will you learn a few things you’d never considered, but you’ll quickly discover what’s acceptable and what’s not. Remember, it’s a jungle out there, and we’re only trying to hand you a vine or two…
