There’s so much more to online dating than creating a profile, browsing a few of your matches, and sitting back to let potential partners come to you. If you really want the online dating game to work it’s essential that you be prepared to put a little effort in. Of course, it also helps if you have the right attitude to online dating, and that you don’t take things too seriously; since when was the dating game supposed to mentally drain you?
Try not to overthink things
If you really want to make the most of online dating it’s best if you enter the process with an open mind. If you like the look of someone and agree with some of the things they’ve said in their profile, message them. Don’t spend hours mulling over what to say, either. Some of the best conversations are those that start spontaneously. If one of your potential partners takes their time replying to that initial message, relax and prepare to move on. You’ll turn online dating into a specific form of torture if you dwell.
Don’t be too picky
Many of the big dating websites sell themselves on the number of members they have; often in the millions, with tens of thousands online at any time. If you’re too picky about who you choose to message you’re discounting a vast array of the people who could be perfect for you. Forget any of the men or women you’ve been with before; your relationships with them failed for a reason, so try something new this time around. Have you always dated blondes? That red head seems fun. Have you always considered yourself an intellectual? Try striking up a conversation with someone who will make you laugh.
Mix things up a little
If your regular approach is so far failing to bag you any dates try mixing things up a little; rather than methodically going through your matches, choose to strike up a conversation with someone you like the look of – without first scrutinising his or her profile. Remember, too, that the people you’re messaging will have been asked the same questions about job, likes and dislikes, and dating history before. Instead ask the other person about their favourite holiday, their ideal first date, or a time when they felt really accomplished. The other questions can wait – for now, at least.
Let it go
Let go of any preconceptions you may have had about online dating; whatever you thought you knew about the process, forget it. Those that go into online dating expecting certain things are likely to be disappointed. It’s also time to let go of the fear you may be feeling. Online dating can create lasting relationships, but it’s an avenue of fun for many people. Rather than worrying about meeting the right person within the first days and weeks, try opening your mind to new experience. Say yes to that date, even if you’re not sure you have anything in common; you might be surprised.
Above all, have fun. Online dating is supposed to be enjoyable!