As you begin your online dating journey it’s essential you acknowledge rejections for what they are; a mere bump in the long and winding road that is online dating. It may be hard to believe at times, but trust us when we say there’s someone out there for you if only you keep looking.
Don’t take it personally
It might be hard to take rejection on the chin, but remember what you’re being judged on; a written profile, a relatively small image, and a few nervously typed messages that probably have no bearing on what you’re really like as a person. Rather than wondering what’s wrong with you, reassure yourself that this particular rejection is unlikely to have anything to do with who you are. Indeed, it’s more than likely a reflection of the other person’s personal circumstances, or a series of specific desires they have chosen to centre their dating experience on. While dating profiles and messages are a great channel for getting to know one another, they’re unlikely to lead to meaningful contact straight away. If you’ve been rejected at this stage assume that you’re just not what that person was looking for and move on. To dwell is unhealthy, and counterproductive.
Keep an open mind
Unless you’ve made a strong connection with a particular site user, it’s unlikely that you’ll be limiting yourself to messaging just one person – especially if you’ve yet to experience a physical date. While we’re not suggesting you play the field with the intention of using and losing suitors, it won’t hurt to stay in contact with more than one match at any one time. Indeed, keeping an open mind is a great way to handle the blow of rejection; okay, so you’re not that person’s cup of tea, but this match seems to think you’re somebody worth knowing.
Just because you’ve received a rejection doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for online dating. Indeed, you could receive a handful of ‘Dear John’ messages before meeting the right person for you. That’s just the nature of the game, and an unavoidable consequence when you’re putting yourself out there to this extent. Online dating is less about the quality of messages that you receive than it is about the quality of those interactions; for every three polite ‘no’s you may well receive an enthusiastic ‘yes’, which is immediately more meaningful. It can be tempting to hide behind a wall of silence and only communicate with those who approach you first. However, confidence can be an incredibly attractive trait for potential matches – show you have it in spades and don’t let a little thing like a ‘no’ hold you back.
Most importantly of all, remember that you can’t make someone like you. If you’ve received a rejection message it’s because the other person can’t see a connection – and you need to respect that. Indeed, they’re probably saving you a hell of a lot of heartbreak in the long run. Now is the time to dust yourself off, thank them for their honesty, and recognise that you’ve just been given another chance to find love.