“Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”
While quotes may work to make your profile stand out, they’re best avoided when you send that first message to someone you like the look of. You’re aiming to introduce yourself, and inspire potential matches to want to know more, after all. Besides, such an opener is only likely to work if the recipient is a fan of cheesy chat up lines, or 80s pop. Stuck for words, for once in your life? Keeping your comments authentic is just one piece of advice we can impart. Here are a few other tips you should follow if you’re hoping to impress, rather than distress, potential dates…
Mention common interests
It’s very tempting to message a potential match to tell them they’re the most striking individual you’ve ever come across, but comments regarding appearance rarely go down well – or lead to meaningful encounters. Rather than stating the obvious, which merely proves you’ve glanced at their photo, show your message’s recipient that you’ve taken the time to read their profile. Do you share interests, or have you got a hobby in common? Have they mentioned something in their blurb that you could confidently discuss? Go for it, and show your match that you’re interested in them as a person, rather than a picture.
Don’t over share
This tip is pretty self-explanatory; don’t be tempted to fill that first message with an unabridged history of your life, details pertaining to family members, or hilarious anecdotes they won’t understand at this stage. Online dating, and the excitement of messaging back and forth, is all about getting to know someone, so keep a few details back for the first meeting. Besides, who wants to spend hours reading a monologue when they could be conversing?
Keep it short and sweet
This tip refers to the number of messages you send, as well as the length of your first ‘hello’. You may feel like sending an essay to your future intended, but keeping it short and sweet will ensure your recipient reads, and absorbs, the information you’ve sent them. There’s nothing more annoying than skim reading a long post only to miss out the one detail that would otherwise set your pulse racing. Now is not the time for multiple messages either, even if you do think of something else you’d like to say. Your second message is writing itself, here. Oh, and don’t ever be tempted to bombard a person with reminders that you exist. If they’ve not replied it’s usually for a good reason.
Aim to start a conversation
While it’s perfectly polite to ask someone how they are, or enquire about their day, it doesn’t really inspire much of a conversation; a reply of, “alright, you?” will only land you in the same predicament once you’ve sent your own answer. What can you deduce about the person you’re messaging? Do they have particular hobbies, goals, or personality traits you’d feel comfortable talking about? Rather than asking simple questions, or dreaded closed-answer questions, start every message as if it’s the beginning of an epic conversation. The recipient will either respond favourably or ignore your efforts; what have you got to lose, really?
Above all, keep things simple, and read through your message before you send it. Have you rambled, or come across as a little too confident? Does your opening line give your nerves away? Only send your message once you’re happy with its content, and remember; be yourself – it’s all you can be.