Online dating has become an incredibly popular way for men and women to meet their soul mates, and for those who may be returning to the dating game to have another crack at love; there’s no such thing as being too old for love, after all. While it can be tempting to jump straight back into the dating game it’s important to remember how fragile you may still be, or how unforgiving the world of online dating can appear. Follow these tips for a smooth re-entry onto the love highway – your love life will thank you much later…
Do… take things slowly
We recently published an article urging everyone to think about timing before trying online dating; its information is pertinent to this particular topic, too. Regardless of how your last relationship ended it’s essential you take the time to heal – whether you were the dumper or dumpee, or had been ready to be single for sometime. The end of any relationship will trigger a wealth of emotions that must be deciphered and dealt with before either party is ready to move on. Now, imagine trying to simultaneously translate a steady stream of emotions associated with a new relationship, and you can see why many online daters get so confused.
Don’t… put too much pressure on yourself to find love
It’s only natural to seek out a new relationship following the breakdown of a long-term liaison, but don’t ever assume that your worth is based upon how many people find you attractive, or the number of match requests you’ve received. Starting your online dating journey in a desperate attempt to validate your significance will likely result in you making matches that mean very little, or seeking out love in the wrong place. Stop; breathe. Nobody is expecting you to go out and find love straight away, so enjoy the thrill of the chase and the opportunity to meet new people first.
Do… broaden your horizons
Remember why you’re back on the market; something about your last relationship just didn’t work out. So, why are you scouring online dating sites for people that remind you of your ex-partner? Rather than searching for someone with the same qualities – or faults, should we say – as the last person you dated, it’s time to find someone with a different outlook on life; a person who will make you question everything you thought you’d established about your love life. It is perfectly possible to fall in love with such a person, you know. Besides, who wants to spend their whole life reliving history?
Don’t… take rejection to heart
So, you’re over your ex and have moved on with your life. Still, it’s incredibly disheartening to find that no one has replied to your latest round of messages, or to be cut off mid-conversation by someone you were growing to like. It’s almost tempting to crawl back under your duvet and give up altogether, right? However, it’s important not to take such rejections to heart. After all, how much can you get to know someone via a series of online messages alone? You may be feeling vulnerable after the breakdown of a relationship, but look past these rejections. Instead, see them as an opportunity to move on – and be thankful you hadn’t invested any more time in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.
Congratulations, you’ve walked out of a relationship break-up with your head held high; remember that it is possible to find love again, and that you are entitled to the happiness you crave.